Thursday, September 15, 2005

My Jennifer

Today I read Helen's Everyday Stranger blog re: the loss of her child who would have been three today.

Reading her message I felt her grief and saddness. Actually I think I felt my own over the loss of Jennifer. Been 34 years since her death. Amazing how somtimes the grief never leaves. It morphs somewhat, becomes less omnipresent and less intrusive on daily life. But it does not actually abate or go away. It remains there always. Just beneath the surface letting you know it is there. Ready to surface at the slightest opportunity.

Still I welcome the grief as it keeps her with me all the time. I never want her to fade from my memory. I cherish the hours I held and feed and bathed and changed her. I cherish the memory of the last time I held and feed her. Little did I know at the time she would be gone in a very few hours.

I love you Jennifer